Miscarriaged :'(

Assalamualaikum. Salam Jumaat..

I was surprised to know that i was pregnant again last month. It is a blessing and rezeki from Allah indeed. We were so happy and excited for the fourth child but it's only for a while..

Unfortunately I started bleeding last week on tuesday. I was worried but then assumed it's normal because i had placenta praevia during my 2nd pregnancy or maybe i was too active. I ran, i carried up Zafri, etc. i forgot that i was pregnant! :(

But on sunday night i had a bad bad cramp like a contraction below and i slept in pain then was bleeding badly with blood clot discharge at 4am. I was panic! I told the other half and he worried too.

so on monday morning we went to GP and the doctor straightly referred me to Queens hospital. Uh oh i could feel something was not right but i gathered myself back try to relax, be patient and redha on what will i found out soon.

The doctors did internal scan first and they said most probably i had miscarriaged. I was speechless..Then i was asked to come again two days later which was last wednesday to confirm it's misscarriage. And sadly yes i had miscarriaged at 8 weeks 5 days..:'(

I was frustrated, crushed and cried inside. Rupanya tak ada rezeki lagi nak dapat baby baru..sobs.

"Allah does not burden a soul beyond more than it can bear (2:286)"

It's true. And Allah knows best. We plan but His plan is above all.

All of us including our kids were sad over the loss..not saying that i already started shopping baby apparels since we are still here in London..sobs.

Sincerely, I was phobia to pregnant again after my third delivery experience but now with the miscarriage my phobia is getting worse..:(:(

Sorry Abang, i've tried my best even though i know you will never blame on me..and you just calmly accept His Qada' and Qadar. I love you more..

Ya Allah, ampuni dosa-dosaku. Amin..! :'(

The Best Summer Ever

Assalamualaikum

Since this might be the last Summer for us, we have been enjoyed it to the fullest. Thankfully, summer this year was the best that we've ever had so far. The sun came out brightly, the weather was warm and the day was beautiful through the whole season. Some days were even gorgeous! Look at the pic below, don't you love the blue skies and white clouds? I do! ^_^

We managed to watch the changing guards event at Buckingham Palace with our good friends somewhere in August. If our friend didn't invite us to go with them I'm not sure when will we have our chance again. Thank you abg Din and kak Aza! :)

To go to this event, you are advised to check the event's schedule first. It can be cancelled due to bad weather. Also go early in the morning so you can find a spot which have a clear view of the event. From the review, the best spot is at the top step of the fountain area in front of Buckingham Palace. But from my experience, i think the best spot is actually at the gate and only if you are the most front! Huhu..

The kids were happy too! As long as they were with their bffs they were happy enough. 

The weather is important, it really influenced the mood hehe.

This year got a chance to see roses at Hampton Court Palace. Lovely roses and loved the fragrance at the garden. :)

Such beautiful memories in London!

I thank Allah for all the blessings that He has given to us from good health, great seasons, new friends, enough bounty and endless love. We couldn;t thank Him enough but hopefully we will try to become good caliphs in this world and the hereafter. Amin!

 Goodbye Suumer..Till we meet again! 

My Little Princess

Assalamualaikum

It's been a while i do not share about my kids. All growing up too fast with so many progress and events but only mummy could not catch with them up..hehe hopefully they forgive me

So now let's start with my little princess, Iris. :)

Iris is a kind-hearted, loving, caring, and sweet child. For example; She would wait in front of the bathroom until i finish with my business (esp at night) No matter i say issokay iris if you wanna go in front first but she quickly say no, i won't leave you, Mummy. Awwww I felt touching instantly. :'(

At night whenever both Zahin and Zafri already 'cop' to sleep beside me, Iris quietly either go sleep with Babah or go to her own bed (in the same room with us) Then she would say, Mummy, can i sleep with you tomorrow? Adoiyai kesian anakku, so mmg tangkap leleh la mummy T_T i quickly answer, sure darling i'll sleep with you tomorrow ok. Still i would feel so bad watching her from afar while her along n adik closely holding my arms.

Oh Iris, How i always wish i have an extra arm for you. But hopefully you know that if mummy's not too tired mummy will wait until Along n adik fall asleep then i quickly get to you and holding you in my arms until you sleep safe and sound. :)

Iris would try her best not to forget the magic word like 'please', 'sorry' and 'thank you'. She's so charming..isn't she? Mmg melting la klu dia cakap 'mummy, can i have a chocolate sandwich pleaseeee? Hihi too cute to ignore her requests. ;)

Cuma Iris ni sgt la hyper and daring. suka sangat berlari, melompat dan memanjat! Then she usually end up with bruises, cuts, bleeding and crying. :(

Mummy love you, Iris. Mummy truly sorry whenever mummy tegur/marah/tinggi suara pada Iris especially when you keep screaming too loud after quarelling and keep jumping from chair to chair. I just afraid that you would accidently fall and being injured. When it happens, it almost gives me heart-attack and scared me to death.

I will never forget the day that you were almost being hit by a car at Dagenham. I think my heart stopped beating for a while.

That day you just ran to cross the road to follow me. You were supposed and promised to stay at the park nearby with babah but suddenly you'd changed your mind to follow me but at that time mummy already at the other side of the road. Once i heard you called me out i quickly turned my head and saw you were running towards me and i was screaming your name out of my lung and luckily the driver pressed the break abruptly, his car was too close to you. Ya Allah i can't move at all, i was shaking all over. Babah ran and got you..i didn't care the driver swore 'fucking shit' at me, i just relieved to see that you were safe. That's all. I thank Allah for saving your life..!

But since that day, i'm more alert. I don't trust you anymore in a good way..you're still a small kid, so i should not assume you as a big girl yet. Even i do the same to along Zahin now. Must be monitored all the time, everywhere. Kalau boleh dok depan mata mummy and babah je. Hehe..

When you both at school, i pray hard so that Allah would protect you from any accidents. But kalau dah takdir juga nak jatuh ke luka ke mummy redha..but hopefully not the major ones. Amin

Mummy always pray so that i have enough time to spend my life with you and to see you growing up, get married and have your own family..in shaa Allah amin..! :)

Love you my little princess Iris..:x

Happy Birthday Zahin!

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah, today is along Zahin's big day. She turns 8 years old already..what a big girl! ^_^ Since mommy and babah had things come up today, we didn't go celebrate. After all it's on a weekday and along Zahin has to go to school.

Talking about school, yes along Zahin already got a place at a new school, Mayville Primary School.  ;) Alhamdulillah again. She just started last monday. I wish you have a lovely time though it might only be until November.

Anyway, when mommy asked whether she want to celebrate her birthday with her new friends or not, she quickly say no and said she didn't want to tell it's her birthday today. But mommy knows actually she's still shy. Hihi.

Along Zahin was in her new uniform on her first day at Mayville Primary School. Angah amik aura dulu ye..:D

Along Zahin and adik Zafri at the playground just nearby the school. Along Zahin good at consoling her baby brother now..hopefully, she will be a good sister forever..amin!

Actually, we've already celebrated along Zahin's birthday as earlier as last saturday..hihi. Coincidently, a friend also wanted to celebrate her daughter's birthday as well..so we joined together..so it's a double celebration.. Yeay! ^_^

Since it was kinda adhoc for us, we just went to Cake Box to buy a birthday cake. That means we didn't get a chance to customized the cake. 

But luckily, there was a Frozen cake left and after gave some thinking i decided to buy it anyway..because the lil sister, Iris really insisted to buy the Frozen cake for her big sister's birthday..she almost made a scene at the cake shop..haih sabo je la hihi..

The birthday girls, Zahin and Nuha. Nuha turned 4 years old last saturday. Happy birthday you two! May Allah bless you always! amin..:)

Tadaaaa, Elsa and Anna Frozen cake. Not only it's 'Frozen' but it was yummilicious!! Credit to angah Iris, thank you dear, such a nice and sweet sister you are..as you wanted to give the best for your Along. :))

As a die hard fan of My Little Pony, along Zahin just asked for this for her birthday gift. RAINBOW DASH!! hihi along, along...you already had the smaller one before.  How i wished you should have asked something else you know but anyway, it's your birthday, so you can pick anything that you wish. ;)

As always, Mommy, Babah, Angah and Adik love you so much, along Zahin though you're not as easy to handle (manja sgt) hihi. We will always be praying for you every second and every breath wherever you are.. Be a good and solehah girl, k..in shaa Allah. 

Last but not least, may you grow wisely, beautifully (esp on akhlak ;)) and successfully in this world and hereafter. We shall try our best to shower you with all the best, love and happiness and guide you to the right path..in shaa Allah. May Allah bless you always, my dear! Mmuahhh. :)

Love,
Mommy :x

Hampton Court Palace, London

Assalamualaikum

Recently a good friend kindly gave us his company corporate season pass which includes five free tickets to Tower of London, Hampton Court Palace, Kensington Palace, Kew Palace and the Banquet House. How lovely!

The admission fee per person for all the places is quite pricey actually, so we were over the moon and kindly accepted the offer! ^^ (Jazakumullah Bro S and his wife, Sis I :))

It's hard to decide when all of the above are in the wishlist but finally we decided to visit Hampton Court Palace! Heheh.

The palace is located in West London and we headed there by car on last saturday. And the weather was good too!

Our free tickets ;)

Can't wait to tour the palace!

just outside of King Henry Viii's kitchen :)

bumped into one of the royal highness (i guess! :P)

lucky enough to try on the cloaks of the Tudors and it's free of charge as well...;)

the girls were listening to the audio and they really enjoyed the tour :)

a brutal mamarazi :P hihi

The Tudors cooking..;)

inside one of the King's apartment

at Court's Palace

The fountain is also located at court's Palace

The Great Hall

at the King's staircase

the king's toilet :D

From Hampton Court Palace With Love

Sorry for some blurry pictures as we snapped all the photos only with our phone camera..

I hope i could share and elaborate more but my mind and body seems no longer allow me.. hehe but in shaa Allah i will try to share more in other entry..:D

Lastly, indeed the 'Rezeki' comes when you have least expected it. Alhamdulillah..