Friday, October 10, 2014

Miscarriaged :'(

Assalamualaikum. Salam Jumaat..

I was surprised to know that i was pregnant again last month. It is a blessing and rezeki from Allah indeed. We were so happy and excited for the fourth child but it's only for a while..

Unfortunately I started bleeding last week on tuesday. I was worried but then assumed it's normal because i had placenta praevia during my 2nd pregnancy or maybe i was too active. I ran, i carried up Zafri, etc. i forgot that i was pregnant! :(

But on sunday night i had a bad bad cramp like a contraction below and i slept in pain then was bleeding badly with blood clot discharge at 4am. I was panic! I told the other half and he worried too.

so on monday morning we went to GP and the doctor straightly referred me to Queens hospital. Uh oh i could feel something was not right but i gathered myself back try to relax, be patient and redha on what will i found out soon.

The doctors did internal scan first and they said most probably i had miscarriaged. I was speechless..Then i was asked to come again two days later which was last wednesday to confirm it's misscarriage. And sadly yes i had miscarriaged at 8 weeks 5 days..:'(

I was frustrated, crushed and cried inside. Rupanya tak ada rezeki lagi nak dapat baby baru..sobs.

"Allah does not burden a soul beyond more than it can bear (2:286)"

It's true. And Allah knows best. We plan but His plan is above all.

All of us including our kids were sad over the loss..not saying that i already started shopping baby apparels since we are still here in London..sobs.

Sincerely, I was phobia to pregnant again after my third delivery experience but now with the miscarriage my phobia is getting worse..:(:(

Sorry Abang, i've tried my best even though i know you will never blame on me..and you just calmly accept His Qada' and Qadar. I love you more..

Ya Allah, ampuni dosa-dosaku. Amin..! :'(

7 comments:

Mek Rose said...

salam..
lamanya tak singgah sini since dh lama menyepi dr dunia blog..

its ok..bukan rezeki lagi tu..
jgn takut nak pregnant lagi ye..buang jauh2 rasa fobia tu...:-)

take care & selamat berpantang...:-)

nurbijen said...

Salam Izu,
Sorry to hear that...
I know your feeling....
And i know you're a strong women...
Yes Allah knows best...
Take care Izu...
Hug and kiss form Bradford....

Nastyna said...

owh dear... very sorry to hear the news, tu la kan, takder Rezeki, and Allah know the best. hope u dah recovered la now, take care yer.

Cocochaneta coco said...

Salam k.izu..

Insyaallah Allah ada plan yg lebih baik utk akk n family.

sitiezahim said...

salam izuuuu...
Allahu akbar... sedihnyaaa..
mmm be strong ok.. saya pon penah alami fobia mengandung sejak arwah pegi dan beberapa dnc, sbb tu tamo kecoh2 masa pregnen zayd.. mmmm take care izu.. insyaAllah masa akan ubati kekecewaanmu (cewaaah)

Nadine said...

Assalam Izu,

Deeply sorry to hear this news. But issokay dear, kita hanya mampu merancang tp Dia yg Maha Berkuasa & Maha Mengetahui yg terbaik utk kita.

Don't feel sorry for yourself, keep positive k. Mudah2an ada hikmah yg lebih baik menunggu Izu & family. Take care, rest well and get well soon k.. *hugs*

Farah said...

Salam kak Izu,

Sorry to hear about your misfortune. Take care kay. Semoga Allah permudahkan akak dan keluarga hadapi cabaran ini...